Letting Go Of Expectations For Situations And Others
In search of more peace in my life, I’ve come across a common phrase, letting go of expectations. Letting go of expectations is very difficult for those of us who are; people-pleasers, codependents, perfectionist, and with weak boundaries. We may do more for others than is ever reciprocated back. Inevitably at some point of your life if not already, another human will let you down or disappoint us. Many times that is due to the expectations we put on that situation. Now don’t misunderstand, that is not why we do nice things for others. We do it because we know how wonderful it would feel if someone would do that for us. But often that doesn’t happen. Which then in turns leaves us with disappointment or sadness or feeling let down.
This is a hard road for me as I am all of those things listed, not just one. But I am a work in progress each day trying to improve those areas little by little.
Why Is Letting Go Of Expectaions Important?
If you’re reading this you may have had a holiday, or vacation or a situation that you envisioned it one way, but yet it didn’t turn out like that. Am I correct? I’m such a planner this is a challenge for me and takes a lot of practice but is 100% worth the peace it brings in the end. I had different plans for my life when I was younger than what actually happened. However we cannot stay and lament on the past, we can however make changes for our future to move towards the directions we want. And most importantly letting go of the past expectations and accepting what is.
Another example is my hobby farm and raising piglets. Of course I want them all to live, however that most often isn’t the case. That expectation can leave you shattered if you don’t do some mental prep work and dialing back the expectations towards reality. Is it still sad, absolutely? Do we still grieve, yes? But it doesn’t have to throw you into a tailspin of emotions either.
It’s important for our mental health to let go of expectations because holding onto unrealistic or unattainable expectations can cause stress, anxiety, and disappointment, just to name a few. Now the expectations may seem normal and not unattainable for us, but that doesn’t mean they are the same for the other person. Letting go of expectations allows us to focus on the present moment and accept things as they are, which can lead to a sense of peace and contentment. Even if they are not the way we planned it to be or expected it to turn out. It also helps us to promote flexibility and adaptability in dealing with life’s challenges. Which is also beneficial to our mental health.
Tips For Letting Go Of Expectations
Letting go of expectations can be difficult, but there are a few tips that can help.
Firstly, recognize that expectations are often based on rigid thinking or one view (ours) and can limit our ability to accept and appreciate different outcomes.
Secondly, practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment and try to avoid spending too much time thinking about the past or the future. Practice gratitude to help appreciate your present moment for what it is. And practice forgiveness towards yourself and others.
Thirdly, practice self-compassion, and be gentle with yourself as you work on letting go of expectations. Acknowledge your emotions without judgement. Surround yourself with supportive people. Don’t forget your own self-care and prioritize your own needs as they are important. Even more so in challenging situations.
Fourthly, try to maintain an open and flexible mindset. Be willing to accept and adapt to change (pivot). Challenge some of your expectations. Try to set realistic goals for yourself, as we are only in control of ourselves.
Finally, letting go of expectations is a process and it takes time and patience. Seek professional support or the help of other resources to maintain a positive outlook and provide encouragement as you work through your challenges. Remember, letting go of expectations can be a freeing experience that allows you to fully enjoy and appreciate life’s unexpected surprises.
Many will find it helpful to rely on God or your higher power for help. Let go and Let God! And enjoy the journey!
Lastly Learn to Pivot
Finding true peace is possible when we learn to pivot and free ourselves from expectations of situations and others. Expectations can lead to disappointment, frustration, and anxiety when they are not met. By letting go of our expectations and being open to different outcomes, we create space for acceptance and understanding.
Think of this, if you’ve ever played or watched a sport or basketball, how many times does a player need to pivot and find a new way to make the goal, all the time, right?! Pivoting allows us to shift our focus and perspective, giving us an opportunity to see different possibilities and solutions. Which in turn will give us flexibility to adapt to changing circumstances and reduces stress. Likewise when we learn to pivot and free ourselves of expectations, we become more present and mindful, enabling us to appreciate the beauty of the moment. This state of mindfulness allows us to cultivate inner peace, contentment, and joy.
I know first-hand this is not easy, however if you keep practicing it, it will become almost second-nature and will eventually happen without even realizing it. Stay in the present my friends and your life will change. Join me as a work in progress. Enjoy your journey!
For more information on healing go here Healing Journey.
Additional reading materials are The Power of Letting Go and Living Your Best Life.
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